Thursday, November 7, 2013

For Matthew

Today's muse: After twelve years in funeral service and being married to an undertaker, the death of a friend still hurts.

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For Matthew

I was told today that a friend chose to take his own life on Friday.

Admittedly, we’re not close friends. After all, if we were, I would have known before today. In my heart, I know there is little I could have done to prevent this, but it still saddens me. Matthew was a vibrant spirit, always smiling, always laughing. I keep thinking I could have talked to him, I could have listened.

He pronounced my name the way my father does, and I knew then, he was a fellow French Canadian. From that moment, our conversations were in French.

Tall and lanky, he had sandy hair that hung past his shoulders, usually pulled back in a neat tail. I saw him shortly after he cut it all off, saddened that he’d lost his Surfer Dude look. Coincidentally, just days before, I had also cut off all mine. When we saw each other, we laughed and had a great conversation about how liberated we now were, which quickly evolved into a serious discussion on shampoo volume and conditioner. Most conversations deviated to trash talk and harmless flirting, though we both knew I wasn’t his type.

I know the colours aren’t as bright today, and I don’t imagine they will be for a while, but I know the next time I see a rainbow, it will be Matthew, telling me all is well.

While he was with us, he may have felt pain, and perhaps his scars never quite healed, but I am confident he is happy in Summerland and look forward to seeing him again, when it is my time.


glnroz said... very sad,,,how are you Ms Manning?

Monica Manning said...

Thank you, glnroz. My heart hurts, but it will heal.

Jae Rose said...

Best wishes to you. Wishing it wasn't so but am glad that you were friends for as long as you could be. Kindly Jae x